


Feelings

by KazuHattori



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Feelings Realization, Heartbreak, KenHina Week, KenHina Week 2020, M/M, Sad and Happy, kenhinaweek, kenhinaweek2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:08:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24357070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KazuHattori/pseuds/KazuHattori
Summary: KenHina WeekDay 7: Free DayKenma gets a call from Shouyou in Brazil and realizes how he really feels about him.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 22
Kudos: 104
Collections: Kenhina week 2020





	Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone,  
> my OneShots for KenHina Week are the first stories i wrote in english. Many thanks to my beta reader: ich_bin_ein_stern (ao3)
> 
> Have fun reading!
> 
> Kazu  
> (Twitter @KazuHattori)

From the moment Shouyou accepted the video call, Kenma knew something must have happened. Usually his friend was always super excited and happy when they talked to each other and couldn't wait to tell him about the current events he is experiencing in Rio. Today, however, he was quiet and seemed a bit insecure — almost ashamed. He obviously has difficulty looking Kenma in the eyes and that was a great cause for concern. To be honest, he had never seen him like this before and was unsure how to deal with this.

\---

In Shouyou's second and Kenma's third year of highschool, their friendship had deepened once again. Kenma had never been very talkative, let alone someone who cultivated social contacts. With Shouyou it had been different from the very beginning. He had already aroused his interest when they first met, and this interest grew with every meeting, every dialogue, and every message. Shouyou was so surprisingly interesting that Kenma wanted to know more and more about him. 

But it was not only that. 

During his last highschool year, he realized more and more that he really liked their friendship a lot. Every time Shouyou spoke to him, the world seemed to be a little better. He could just listen to him for hours. During several joint training camps, and phone calls, they had got to know each other better outside of volleyball. For example, he learned that Shouyou had a little sister named Natsu who would become part of their video conversations every now and then and Kenma told him about his plans to go to college and make a career as a pro gamer and YouTuber. 

Sometimes, when his social anxieties made everything seem hopeless, it was Shouyou who encouraged him and motivated him to continue and not give up. Without him, he probably never would have made it this far. He had become his personal source of energy. He made his life happier. In fact, Kenma had often found himself thinking about Shouyou or looking at his mobile phone in the hope that the other would text him. Almost as often, he had to listen to stupid jokes from Kuroo, who couldn't stop teasing him about his alleged crush. 

He liked Shouyou, he liked him very much. But the theme of romance had never been an issue for Kenma before. He had never been in love and doubted he would ever fall in love. If he was honest, he couldn't even say exactly what romantic feelings were—unlike Kuroo, who enjoyed his college life to the fullest. Every few weeks, Kuroo attended some student party and, just as often, he had a new "big love.“ 

\---

"H-hey Kenma," Shouyou finally started the conversation stutteringly with a shy smile. Yes. Something was definitely wrong with him. 

"Are you okay, Shouyou?" Kenma asked worried. What could possibly fluster Hinata Shouyou like that? He was swarmed with the curiosity about what was going on, worried that it was something bad and a small surge of anger if anyone dared to hurt his Shouyou. 

"Um... I told you that I met Oikawa-san by chance the other day, right?" Kenma's hands clenched into fists. Yeah, he told him about that just a few days ago. But back then he seemed to be very happy about this meeting, so happy that it had almost annoyed Kenma, because it wasn't him who had cheered Shouyou up, but someone else. If Oikawa Tooru hurt him in any way, then he could prepare himself for the worst.

"Did he do something to you?" Kenma heard himself ask angrily. 

But Shouyou opened his eyes in surprise, "Huh? Oh... no... that's not it... no!" 

Now he was completely confused. On the one hand, he was relieved that his friend was better than he had feared, on the other hand he asked himself even more why he seemed so embarrassed... Just before he could ask further questions, Shouyou continued to talk. 

"You know... Oikawa-san and I... we've really enjoyed ourselves these last few days. W-we played volleyball together and, oh my god Kenma, he's such a great player! He's even better than he was back in school and it felt so good to play on the same team as him!“ 

With every sentence Shouyou's insecurity disappeared more and more and instead there was an enthusiastic excitement in his voice. 

"I showed him my favorite restaurant and my favorite places here and we had a really great time together. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Oikawa-san is a really great person!" 

Shouyou's eyes sparkled with rapture but from one moment to the next he suddenly became silent and a blush appeared on his cheeks. He swallowed and continued. 

"L-Last night we played against a super strong team and won and... and we were so happy... everything seemed so... unreal and perfect... the whole atmosphere and... and... we hugged because everything was so great and then... he looked at me and then... ...we k-kissed..." 

Kenma's eyes widened. He had expected everything, but not this. What he hadn't expected either was the pain that spread inside him, after Shouyou's words. 

Anger, disappointment, sadness, loneliness, even breathing seemed to be hard all of sudden... 

What was wrong with him? Why was he so surprised? Shouyou is a grown man. He is friendly, attractive and had an immense charisma. It was only a matter of time before someone would come along to claim him. Someone who wanted to take him away from Kenma...

...wait, take him away? What was he thinking? It wasn't like Shouyou was his property! He almost sounded as if he was jeal — he didn't even dare to finish that thought and he didn't have to, because Shouyou was apparently not finished with his story.

"Oh my god, Kenma! I'm so embarrassed, but you're my best friend and I have all these thoughts and memories and I'm so glad that you listen to me," he explained, but his "best friend" was not quite sure anymore if he really wanted to continue listening.

"Oikawa-san and I went to his hotel and when we arrived there...there was this atmosphere, this tension between us and we kissed again and again and it was clear he wanted more and so did I. I also wanted more... and — aaaaah — I don't want to go into details but the night with him was so... so... unbelievable..." 

The moment he finished talking, the world finally collapsed on Kenma. A stabbing pain ran through his chest so that he couldn't help but grab his heart. His eyes became wet and he knew immediately that he couldn't hold back his tears for long. He swallowed. Could it really be that he felt differently for Shouyou than he had thought? Had Kuroo been right all these years and he had fallen in love with Shouyou? 

"Kenma, are you okay?" asked the voice from his laptop speakers. He looked up and stared into the worried, big brown eyes that had become so familiar to him.

"Yes, I... I'm sorry Shouyou I... have to go... I..." Kenma stuttered, unable to suppress a sob. 

Not a second later, the first tears ran down his cheeks.

"Kenma, what-?" Shouyou started, but Kenma ends the video call.

Frustrated, he buried his face in his hands and eventually let his emotions run free. He started to cry out loud. Why? Why did he realize only now that he felt that way about Shouyou? Now that he had no chance anymore? Now that Oikawa had beaten him to it? How could he ever compete with THE Oikawa Tooru? 

For Kenma, it became a very long, torturous night with lots of pain, tears and an absolute chaos of emotions. 

Only when Kuroo found him huddled in bed the next morning, and had calmed him down, Kenma could finally fall asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed the OneShot!
> 
> I would be very happy if you leave Kudos and write a comment. A simple "I liked it" would already make me super happy! ^__^  
> Constructive criticism is also welcome.
> 
> Breaking Kenma's Heart was so hard for me. I even thought about writing a KenHina-Endgame epilogue.


End file.
